~Apfelpie

Alice

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About Me Member Lurker Apfelpie28/Female/Australia

Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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the perfect fire work

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Quick, before he finds out.These are Tazos. I confess that everything I know about them, I read on the internet last night. I think you throw them at someone and the ones that sting win... Or the ones that land most improbable or punnable name up... Or something like that. Perhaps there are little pixie ninjas who (for some reason) look like luck trolls, and these are their killer frisbees.
As the title suggests, these are remnants of my husbands childhood that I'm fairly certain he can live without. He has big toys now like computers and lawn mowers and footballs and, well, to be frank, me. These have been hiding in a closet for several years now, and it' Quick, before he finds out.
by ~Apfelpie

I don't want children yet.This frame was purchased as a result of the subtle and unconscious pressure from all those expecting and nurturing friends I seem to have collected over the years. You know the ones; they rapturously espouse the joys of motherhood while one child is attached to the hip and the other is in your dvd collection building a fort with those constantly sticky hands. (How DO they remain so sticky? It's as if as children our pores exude gum as a natural defence against unwanted affection and clean surfaces. MY clean surfaces.) Plus children always smell of cheese (not the nice cheese either) and talcum powder, a heady combination sure to make every na I don't want children yet.
by ~Apfelpie

filling your shoes
by ~Apfelpie

My irrational phobiaI wish I had a normal phobia. People who are scared of spiders get a sympathetic nod. Needles? Aren't we all. Open spaces? Totally understandable. Heights? No worries. Cotton balls? Oh, a little weird, but we’ll let it slide.
Mine is Magic Trees and Magic Gardens. In their packaged state, with no water added, they’re completely harmless. Once they begin to grow, they completely freak me out. I think the little spikey fluffy particles are airborne, that once I’ve breathed them in, they will lodge in my nose, sinuses or lungs, and begin their continual cycle.

    * Add moisture My irrational phobia
by ~Apfelpie

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I write.

Tue Mar 17, 2009, 10:11 PM

I write. Alot.

Whether it's composing a witty retort, a 'I'm so sorry' email or a scathing insult, I write.

Recently I've discovered eBay. Ok, that's not true. I've spent much time and money on eBay over the years, from cameras and books to a wedding dress and chocolates. Recently, I decided to sell.

I've created a monster. I'm looking for more things to sell, just so I can spend time describing the sillyness that so many objects have subjected me to over the years. I've found that it doesn't have to be fabricated to be absurd and amusing - it's all in the way you look at it (or it's all in the hips - either way...) And I'm not even caring about what they sell for, some items I'm secretly wishing DON'T sell so I can relist them and amuse people for another 10 days.

Anyway. While it's been gratifying to get random comments on eBay from people telling me they appreciate me, it's suddenly dawned on me that I can have my writings up here and not have to worry about the auction ending!

I hope you get a little spark of sunshine in your day, either from what you read here or from the child who just wrote their name in urine on your car door.

much like,

Alice

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